Mourning Page

Should have spent my Christmas alone…Damnit.

Hopefully not the worst Christmas ever.

Speaking of the worst Christmas, the best Christmas was definitely the 2009 one.  It was my A-level freakin’ year.

Mum, dad and bro went out and had fun.  I was alone studying at home.

It was a sudden thought which made me think of my dear grandma who stayed at home alone with her maid.

So I called her and bought a “cha siu” lunchbox and ran to the station.

The funny thing was I forgot my wallet.  So I ran back home and rushed to my grandma’s home.

Rmb when I entered into grandma’s home, she had already finished her dinner.

I will never forget how she sat on the sofa and looked at me, the weird grandchild, who wanna spend her Christmas with her grandma, sat down and ate the lunchbox. Her smile was so happy and content.

My grandma was the one who would allow me to rest on her lap and joke with her.  She would tell me she looked “okay” when I asked whether she was pretty when she was young.  She would buy me barbecue pork and sausages when I went to her home.  She ate steamed fish and veggies soup 365 days a year.   She likes smelt roe sushi the best and all kinds of sweet food despite her having diabetes.  She would really act like a child and steal candies or chocolates.

I miss you so much, grandma.

Why you went away so soon…so soon that you can’t attend my graduation, so soon that you haven’t seen me being first in my class so that you will buy me an airplane…

I wonder why God took you away without any prior notice.  Why was He so cruel.

I wish you were here spending this Christmas with me.

Merry Christmas, my grandma in Heaven.

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